The Statistics Support Us

In February and March 2002 the Pew Research Council conducted a survey of 2,002 adults. Questions about religious preference were included. The results are below:

Religious Preference	% June 1996	% March 2001	March 2002
Christian	84	82	82
Jewish	1	1	1
Muslim	*	1	*
Other non-Christian	3	2	1
Atheist	*	1	1
Agnostic	*	2	2
Something else (SPECIFY)	*	1	2
No preference	11	8	10
Don't know/Refused	1	2	1
TOTAL	100	100	100

11% said they do not believe in God but do believe in a "universal spirit" or "higher power"; 3% said they do not believe in God or a spirit or power. In a separate question, 1% said they are atheists (those who believe there is no God), 2% said they are agnostics (those unsure whether there is a God), and 11% said they have no religious preference. The no-preference category includes people "who may not be ready to declare themselves atheists or agnostics," Pew Director Andrew Kohut says.

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This research shows that The Church of No Preference has much potential to grow very large. Only the category "Christian" ranked higher than "No Preference." We at the church are on a mission to expand our sectless sect. Looking at the chart, it seems obvious that first we must make ourselves known to all the No Preferentists and then to entice the Christians into declaring themselves having no preference.

I've always thought that the main reason Christians don't want to leave their religion is the threat of hell. Well, Christians, I'm here to tell you that hell doesn't exist at the Church of No Preference if you should care to believe that, we have no preference. We promise not to threaten that you will go to hell for not believing so faithfully in Jesus.

We do have members who believe in hell, which they believe is a hellava place to go. And we have members that don't believe in hell. "Hell No, We Won't Go," is a chant they like to use. And we have members that believe Hell is a town in Michigan, which is another hellava place to go.

So you can see we really have no preference about hell. Give us a chance, the above statistics show we are bigger than you ever thought. The Church of No Preference, a place where hell can freeze over, or not.