What Time is God?

Today's Sunday sermon at the Church of No Preference will be loaded with references to time. Every year on this particular Sunday we devote our preaching as to time because of the change to Daylight Savings Time.

More than a few members of the Church of No Preference don't believe in Daylight Savings Time. Some of them believe that the Time God changes the time, moving it forward an hour today in order to confuse the humans. Some of the No Preferentists believe that Daylight Savings Time is a plot by the government to alter God's time. And finally some members think that Daylight Savings Time just doesn't exist.

For these reasons, our church has three clocks. One clock has been moved forward an hour like we are told to do. Another clock has been left alone and now reads an hour earlier than the DST clock. These two clocks have a label under them identifying them as Daylight Savings Time and God's Time. The third clock has no identification label to accommodate the members that don't believe DST even exists. We try to concede time beliefs to all No Preferentists. We also have a fourth clock that doesn't even move, this is for members that don't think time travels.

You might think that at the Church of No Preference that things are very confused and I wouldn't quite disagree. But we find a way to deal with our confusion. You also might wonder about our religion being labeled a sectless sect, and I might wonder as well. We do have members who have their own God agendas, for instance Barley Marble and his Yam God. So maybe we have sects in our sectless sects. Again we just deal with that confusion, you don't have to understand.

So if you'd like to pray to God today, be sure to include a prayer for resolution about time. "Please God, should we have only one time or do we continue to move it this time of year? Or God, are we just in a time out until the end of time?