I Think Therefore I...

Above, Buddhist Yam Pot

Here at the Church of No Preference we accept any neophyte with a desire to worship any deity they so choose as long as they renounce all other preferences.

One longstanding member in good stead (completely paid up in dues) came to us with an unusual philosophy. He shall remain nameless and anonymous per his request. He had originally been a Christian with no particular favorite sect, but one evening while making dinner he had an enlightenment, he became extremely enamored by yams.

Somehow Barley Marble (oops, I wasn't suppose to name him) had a vision while preparing a tasty dish of yams. Barley had been handling a yam and noticed a certain "feel" to the yam. He continued to grope the yam and he described the experience to us, "It was a luscious yet spiritual moment of inspiration. I had never felt that way about anything and certainly not other foods such as lima beans or brussel sprouts."

Barley could not stop speaking of his yam, or stop yammering, "My whole spirit was lifted up. Just exploring the length, the texture, the way it settled into my hand, I just can't seem to find the words to express my excitement at how I felt so close to God." He paused for many seconds and quietly said, "I think, therefore I yam."

Those of us hearing Barley's testimony couldn't help but feel a sort of awe and even jealousy. Well, except for a few No Preferentists who giggled and snickered in that sort of way people do to try not to attract attention. I had to shush the members for making comments like "Yams? That doesn't sound like yams he's caressing."

Barley had a transformation despite the lack of total support. He had his yam and ate it too. He believed that yams were God and that by eating them he was taking in God's power and love. His favorite yam dish is Buddhist Yam Pot, pictured at top of post.

Now after many years of his yam devotion, Barley is used to the questions and is philosophical about it. A person may ask him, "Yams? Are you nuts?" and Barley simply replies, "God is yam, yam is God. I eat yams and I yam what I yam, ohmmm..."