A Picture is Worth...

There is an expression that says that a picture is worth a thousand words. So I've uploaded the above picture from a NASA site and now I'm wondering if this particular picture is actually worth a thousand words. The expression isn't specific whether ALL pictures have the thousand word worthiness, or if only some pictures get that rating. I also wonder does a picture have to stop at a thousand words or can a person continue past that milestone for many more words, bonus words you might call them.

When I grabbed this photo I made sure NOT to find out what this picture is. That way I have to come up with one thousand words to describe it. One thousand words, that is alot of words. This is going to take awhile. How many words do I have so far? Wait a second, I'll count them. OK, the count is exactly 152. That's more words than I expected. Good, this is going better than I thought it would.

Looking at the picture, I'm very amazed at the blurry colors emanating off the object into space. Wow! It's beautiful. I wonder if the object is a planet. In fact I wonder if the object is the planet Earth using a special optical lens possibly from the Hubble telescope. But, I just plain don't know the circumstance behind the picture.

It sure seems like a planet, could it be an outer planet, maybe Uranus? Again, with a different lens. Hold on second, I'm giggling because of the word Uranus. You know when I was growing up the planet was pronounced, your anus. Now they pronounce it, yur a ness. Just too many jokes in science class, I guess. But, I digress.

It could be Neptune, named after a God. And so were the other planets, all except Earth. I wonder why that is? I guess people looked up at the planets and thought they were Gods. I've always thought that was so odd. Gods? These things in the night sky? Everyone knows you can't see God. But back a couple of thousand years ago, the planets were the Gods. Is the above picture a picture of God?

I must interrupt this for a brief moment as I'm watching a rerun of last nights The Colbert Report on Comedy Central and during his comic bit called Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger a graphic displayed a space scene photo and it was refered to as God. What is so interesting to me is that I used the very same photo in my first post on this blog. Isn't that so cool? In fact I asked directly under my post picture, "Could this be the God of The Church of No Preference?" So, both Colbert and I used the same photo and referenced God to that photo.

Now I have to wonder if The Colbert Report have read my blog or was it a case of simple coincidence? Maybe synchronicity or a miracle? But it certainly is weird. I guess that photo is better than the photo I'm writing a thousand words about. It must be because that photo makes people think of God.

I also think of God for the picture at the top. People say that such beauty can only come from God. On the other hand maybe God came from such beauty. God and science are trying to vie for the beginning of the universe, at least as humanity is trying to interpret things. The usual idea is that God created the universe, but I've often wonder whether the universe created God. To ancient people who thought that the planets were Gods, then without really knowing it they were believing that the universe created the Gods.

As I continue to write, in the back of my mind I keep wondering how many words I've written. As that thought flits through my brain, it starts to fester. How many words have I written? Count them now. Well, I could just keep writing and adding to the total, as I'm doing right now. But then that festering thought pops back in. How many words? Count them. No, write some more. No, count them. OK, OK, I'll count them. Hold on a second.

Wow! More than I thought. Guess how many? Go ahead take a shot. The total is 711. But that didn't count the ones in this paragraph, which would now make 742, including the number 742. But hold on, there were four more words added after the number 742 to make 746. But geez, I wrote another sentence explaining all that. Hold on I'll count that sentence and this sentence as well...783.

Well I'm almost finished, at least I'm much closer to a thousand words. I've only got to write, um, let's see, 191 words as of right NOW. The word "now" left me with 191 words, and to explain that I've written more words. Good, I'm getting closer word by word, sentence by sentence.

I should mention that I really do believe that the picture is worth a thousand words, but probably not my words. Somebody better able to put a decent theme together would be better adept at applying a worthy set of a thousand words towards the picture. As I get closer to a thousand words, I find that it is neccesary to count the words as I type, which makes typing more complicated in my mind. Thinking numbers and trying to think of words at the same time is rather confusing. I'm surprised I'm even spelling them correctly.

You know this is getting exciting closing in on a thousand words. It seems so right, so ordered. It has a thrilling feel, like a race being finished. At the same time it is excruciating because I must have exactly one thousand words. This is soooo tense, down to the wire, call it a PHOTO finish? Well, thank God, I've just written and you've just read 1,000 words!

Affirmations and Verses

Just because the sign is bent doesn't mean the point can't inspire.

Everybody loves a good quote now and then, particularily affirmations that apply to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and God. The Church of No Preference is no different. We collect sayings, post verses, repeat mantras, and generally like to mesmerize ourselves with sentences that seem to have deep meanings.

Look, we're human afterall. If we were God, we wouldn't need a bunch of sentences made up of words meant to make us think, now would we? Well, maybe we shouldn't presume so about God. Maybe God spends the entire day thinking up inspirational lines purely out of amusement. Anyway, below are several sayings that have been recently collected by No Preferentists.

Don't expect to see your inner soul by admiring yourself in the mirror.

Mirages in the desert sure look thirst quenching, but you'll never get to taste them.

If you spend enough time being amazed at the spin of toilet water as it flushes, you'll have to pay a higher water bill.

Sudoku may be fun now, but someday you'll think "it's just a bunch of numbers in boxes."

If you collect chunks of dirt, don't leave them outside in the rain.

If you thought the 1960's was all about drugs, spend a day watching the pharmacy counter.

Tiptoeing a fineline, and walking a tightrope involve balance and concentration, or you could just sit on a fence.

If you can find the truth in advertising, keep it to yourself.

The past is the history of everything, but the future is all we've got.

One is just a number, but two can be a party.

You can have a bunch of marbles that sit around and look pretty or you can make them roll around and have some fun.

Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Count mine before they come home to roost.

Laptop spelled backwards is pot pal.

Facts and statistics can make you more informed and a good contestant on Jeopardy, but that's not in the form of a question.

You can point out other people's problems, but what's your point?

Wise is the saying that makes you think, but don't believe it unless you blink.

We've spent many an hour and day debating and discussing these words of wisdom and some of us now have headaches, but we do it for the seeking of truth. We find doing this much easier than climbing mountains or running marathons, although there is nothing wrong in that.

Some Rules

Rules from The Sacred Order of Lavatorium

Here at the Church of No Preference we both abhor rules and beg for them. I suppose any organization of people whether a country or a club or a country club must feel the same way. Religions and churches are no different. No matter how much people scream uncontrollably "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?" people just have ways to not get along. So, groups of people make up rules and laws to force other people to get along and then when those rules and laws are broken more rules and laws are made to make people follow the original rules and laws so as to get people to just get along. Whew! Do you follow me?

The Church of No Preference does have some rules, you know, in order to just get along. Any church to survive has to follow the laws where they reside, for instance most places on Earth have laws against murder, so naturally rule number one at the Church of No Preference is...

Rule Number One; "Hey, Don't Murder." It kind of helps that most other religions also have that rule, it's not like we're the only one. For instance Christianity has that rule as a commandment, although to that religion it is only the sixth rule. So, No Preferentists have elevated that no murder rule to number one, we just have a good feeling about that, in fact such a good feeling about that rule that we repeat it.

Rule Number Seven; "Hey, Don't Murder!" and...
Rule Number Fourteen; "Hey, Didn't We Tell You Twice Already? Don't Murder!"

But now it gets confusing. What constitutes murder? Well, it seems logical to not murder a fellow human. And murdering animals sure seems kind of sick. And how sad to murder little innocent insects. And murdering fish and reptiles seems logical as much as it seems logical not to murder humans, animals and insects. And then murdering birds seems so cruel. And what of fungus and bacteria, seems logical to not murder them. Oh, and plants, we don't want to murder them either. HELP! We are in a logic trap, we can't murder ANYTHING!

So as you can see The Church of No Preference considers rules one, seven and fourteen as very important to follow but we are not sure how to follow them. From what I hear other religions have this problem as well. At least we have no preference to having the debate about murder, here at the church we like debate. Which brings us to rule number two...

Rule Number Two; "Welcome discussion, debate, deliberation, consideration, dialogue, exchange, and the Thesaurus these words come from."

Yes, rule number two is a long rule and tends to be difficult to repeat as a mantra, but our members like the rule, unless a member is the loser in a discussion, debate, deliberation, consideration, dialogue, or exchange. We don't like to inflame a loser during a rule number two event because we don't want to upset that member so much as to make them privately consider breaking rules number one, seven or fourteen. So we have a rule for that.

Rule Number Three; "Be nice, and maybe we can all just get along."

The Church of No Preference truly believes in being polite, respectful, courteous, kind, nice, and the Thesaurus those words come from. We can't fully explain why, but it just seems to work out for the best most times. We think this comes from simple probability, the odds seem to favor being nice. Go with the odds, we like to say. "Gamble on nice and nice will pay off," one member likes to explain rule number three. It sort of sounds like Karma to me, but it does have a good advertising feel to it.

Well, that's three rules, oops, I mean five rules that have been revealed in our convoluted ways. In the vague future more of The Church of No Preference rules will be leaked, I mean exposed, um, unveiled.

I Think Therefore I...

Above, Buddhist Yam Pot

Here at the Church of No Preference we accept any neophyte with a desire to worship any deity they so choose as long as they renounce all other preferences.

One longstanding member in good stead (completely paid up in dues) came to us with an unusual philosophy. He shall remain nameless and anonymous per his request. He had originally been a Christian with no particular favorite sect, but one evening while making dinner he had an enlightenment, he became extremely enamored by yams.

Somehow Barley Marble (oops, I wasn't suppose to name him) had a vision while preparing a tasty dish of yams. Barley had been handling a yam and noticed a certain "feel" to the yam. He continued to grope the yam and he described the experience to us, "It was a luscious yet spiritual moment of inspiration. I had never felt that way about anything and certainly not other foods such as lima beans or brussel sprouts."

Barley could not stop speaking of his yam, or stop yammering, "My whole spirit was lifted up. Just exploring the length, the texture, the way it settled into my hand, I just can't seem to find the words to express my excitement at how I felt so close to God." He paused for many seconds and quietly said, "I think, therefore I yam."

Those of us hearing Barley's testimony couldn't help but feel a sort of awe and even jealousy. Well, except for a few No Preferentists who giggled and snickered in that sort of way people do to try not to attract attention. I had to shush the members for making comments like "Yams? That doesn't sound like yams he's caressing."

Barley had a transformation despite the lack of total support. He had his yam and ate it too. He believed that yams were God and that by eating them he was taking in God's power and love. His favorite yam dish is Buddhist Yam Pot, pictured at top of post.

Now after many years of his yam devotion, Barley is used to the questions and is philosophical about it. A person may ask him, "Yams? Are you nuts?" and Barley simply replies, "God is yam, yam is God. I eat yams and I yam what I yam, ohmmm..."

President Bush, Unofficial Prophet

Here at the Church of No Preference we are ready to bow down (or sit in an easy chair) to any awesome statements made by anyone. Recently it has been made known to me of the profound sayings of our President. I can't help but feel woozy at the deep meanings our President has revealed to us.

Unfortunately, President Bush is a member of a Christian sect, Methodist I believe, so he cannot join The Church of No Preference until he renounces his preference. There is a method to our madness, but I'm not sure if there is a method to Methodists.

At any rate, his religously moving pronouncements must be revealed to No Preference members. Please drink in the following Bush prophesies and sayings in all their glory. Here in the church, we call them Bushisms.

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."

I've been anxiously awaiting the day humans would be part of the solar system. Oh great diety, thank you for communicating to Bush your intentions of allowing humans this opportunity.

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

Thank you prophet Bush. I had become concerned that NASA was beginning to explore the ground.

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. "

WOW! This is too deep to even understand. The Church of No Preference will post this on the blackboard next to the pulpit for all the members to emmerse themselves into with deep contemplation.

" The future will be better tomorrow."

But will the future be better the day after tomorrow? Please Bush elaborate more. Help us to understand.

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future. "

Bush is a time traveler, he is God-like. Quick! Get me an easychair! I must immediately fathom the space/time continuum. Can it be so? George can think in the future and the past at the same time?

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

We must succeed, this is profound. We must not fail if we risk success. We don't fail if we succeed. We fail if success fails. I'm so confused!

"I stand by all my misstatements that I've made."

And with all the infinite wisdom of prophet Bush, he is as well humble.

Introduction

Could this be the God of The Church of No Preference?

Decades ago (around two of those), in a barracks (far, far away) began a religion based on a category embedded on dog tags. The category was "religion," the answer "no preference."

As several members of my unit compared dog tags one day, we found that nearly all of us that were good friends had the same words for the category "religion." This seemed to be profound and amusing and so the Church of No Preference was founded immediately. The festivities began at once with numerous toasts with German beer and hits of hash.

As the party wore on, deep meaningful questions arose. Could this ragtag group really develop a church? What is religion? What should we pray for? Who should we pray to? Should we pray at all?

Delaying those questions, we chose to elect a leader who we hoped would be able to answer those questions. Somehow I won (possibly because I had purchased the beer) and was christened Principle Prophet for the Church of No Preference.

I was stunned...and drugged. How, I wondered could I live up to such an important position. I was worried that in the morning after, whether my hangover would cause me to abdicate my newly sworn position. In the stark light of the next day, would I swear off partying (for about the umteenth time) and as well swear off this new religion? But that would be tomorrows problem, for tonight we had to create a church.

We set to establishing some rules. We needed some commandments. Thou shalt party. Thou shalt rock and roll. Thou shalt not disco. We had trouble getting to ten.

We considered the concept of "no preference." What does that REALLY mean? Who could join our church? We ruled (and I toasted) that a person must resign from all other religions with a real name, like Protestant, Catholic, Sunni, Mormon, Sufi, Rastafarian (although we liked the Rasta, man), Confucian, Boodda (you know, the fat guy sitting crosslegged), Hindu, etc. in order to truly be no preferenced. In order to join our sect, one must be sectless.

Getting into deeper questions, we came to some inconclusive conclusions. Who or what would be our God? Trees or a Supreme Being or a fat guy or science or what? Well, all of them or none of them or some of them or a God to be named later was all that we could decide, no preference you see.

As we turned up the volumn on the stereo that was playing Pink Floyd's "The Wall," we knew we were on to something big. This church had promise, at least WE promised. As "Comfortably Numb" descended into our ears with ringing blasts of sound, all we could do was reflect on life, God, the universe, and the ten mile march that was scheduled the next day. We passed out later to dreams of allegance to our new religion.

The next day in my morning stupor, I made a promise to uphold the ideals of this new religion forever and maybe stop partying some other time. It seemed that being named Principle Prophet had ramifications beyond my comprehension. I was branded with a nickname for weeks, an abreviation of my title, PP or pee pee. My fellow congregates would come up to me out of nowhere and say things like "Oh Great Pee Pee, can I have another beer?" Or "Hey Pee Pee, grant me a discharge."

You wouldn't want to hear my answers to those questions as they tended not to reflect a religous attitude. It was becoming clear that our church was losing its bearings. As Principle Prophet I called for another party, a revival. At the revival I chastened the members about their lack of respect for no preference and as well begged for a new title. I was given a reprieve as it was decided that the leader position would be rotated among the devotees. Democracy! The Church of No Preference had developed a decision making process. "Finally!" I thought. Yet, I also wondered "Did I just get coup de tated?"

In the following weeks at repeated rivivals, nothing really exciting happened (at least as far as church matters went) except that it was decided that the leader's title would be changed to reflect the person's image. We had various nicknames such as Pope Poop (another pee pee), The Drinkin' Deacon, and others that I'll probably never remember.

Our membership rose and fell as people transferred in and out of our unit. No one ever quit our sect because we had no preference whether they were "official" members or not. We didn't have any documents to fill out anyway. To join a person simply pledged allegance to no preference. Finally it was my turn to joyfully leave as I was discharging from the Army. I returned to the United States and began to put those memories aside.

On occasion when answering questions on forms, I have run into the inquiry "religion?" And would answer "no preference." This would always make me wonder about the old church. In the subsequent years I've never given up hope for The Church of No Preference to grow to rival the major religions. There must be millions of people answering forms with "no preference."

As founding leader of the Church of No Preference, as Principle Prophet (pee pee for short), it's time to reinvigorate the sectless sect. It's time for a mass revival. It's time to use a tool to spread the word of no preference. The Internet is the perfect worship site. The Internet has the ability to bring together No Preferentists from all over the world. No Preferentists of the world, UNITE! This is the beginning....

Reprinted from 2000.

Coming soon...The Pledge of Allegance to The Church of No Preference.