Chairman of the Gods

Cee E. Oh's boardroom ready to convene a meeting of the Gods.

We have members here at the Church of No Preference that come from the business world. Not surprisingly (at least at our church) they have been debating a God theory and formulating a worship of that theory.

They think the Gods are set up like a corporation. The top God is the Chairman of the Board, they call him/her Cee E. Oh. The Gods that vote in the Cee E. Oh candidate are the board members. And then there are minor gods called investors.

We've been calling this religion, Godsporation, for lack of a better name. The Godsporationists could develop into a seperate church of their own, there is cartainly debate in our church about this. For now the Godsporationists are staying with us because they understand that we are not going to treat them as weirdos or stymie their beliefs.

Godsporationists believe that all the people in the world are consumers of their God's word. Cee E. Oh has spoken, we the people must consume it to be good believers. And like any good business, they have begun to market their religion.

To them a religion doesn't have meaning unless it's emblazoned on a T-shirt. Religion must have slogans, it must sell! I can't say this is my cup of tea, yet what religion doesn't sell itself in some manner?

Without missions or recruitment, without outreach programs, without self promotion most religions would simply die out from reducing membership. At least the Godsporationists are honest about their intentions. They embrace promotion, it's a tenet of thir philosophy. And I have to admit they are growing in their talent at applying business principles to their God business.

I have to giggle at some of their T-shirt slogans, if I believed in a Chairman of the Gods, I'd buy their wears. For instance, here are a few examples;

$ell Your $oul To Cee E. Oh.

Chariman of the Gods, you can't buy a better God.

Invest in God for great future returns.

Cash, credit, layaway, Cee E. Oh will accept your purchase.

Buy the way, to Cee E. Oh.

The Godsporationists have been churning out so many slogans for Tshirts it's hard to keep track of them all. At this point I think they are just breaking even with their enterprise belief system, but I wouldn't put it past them to make a huge impact on society. They've taken a trademarked saying and taken it to heart, "Just do it."